“Most of us like things to stay the same, we seek order and predictability.”
Except that’s not really true is it? Otherwise we’d still be wearing crinolines.
It’s much more subtle than that. We actively embrace changes that reinforce our sense of identity – the books we read, the clothes we wear, the places we eat, the friends we make, the things we think.
The changes we fear are those which appear to threaten that identity. They take us by surprise; throw us off balance; we wait for the evidence to repeat itself so that we can be sure this is a change that won’t go away.
Then we find a way to accomodate it and make it part of our comfort zone.
I bet you can remember a time when you agonised for a weekend over whether something someone else had seen in you was ‘true’, or whether you should stay in your current job/house/relationship.
As human beings, we are dynamic systems, each with a strong frame of reference, which means we are capable of interacting with our environment and absobing changes that come from it without losing our sense of identity or purpose. That’s how we grow.
